I have had a lot of conversations recently with people about issues around mental health, especially where depression and anxiety are concerned. There are some things I say that offends them slightly, until I tell them them that I too have been in the pit, I know how to get out and I know how hard it can be sometimes to stay out.
There has been a lot of marketing out there in recent years comparing depression to physical illnesses such as cancer and broken legs. They seek to point out how the general public is much more sympathetic towards physical illness, which unfortunately tends to be true. But there is another part of that analogy where no one goes and that is the area of personal responsibility. You may not be able to help the fact that you have depression, anxiety or another serious mental health disorder, but you do have control over what you do about it. If you have cancer and you want to get better, you go to the doctor, you take your medication, you have your surgery, do the chemo, whatever it is the doctor tells you to do, but you also take care of your physical body. You make an effort to eat the right foods, to get enough sleep, to exercise, to perhaps even change your hygiene routine. You make an effort to deal with the hurts you carry that maybe you still carry unforgiveness about because that affects your health and you choose to get as much out of the time you have left as you can because not everyone survives cancer.
The same holds true for mental health. If you want to get better you have to do the things your doctor tells you to do. Take your meds for crying out loud and don't go off them unless your doctor says okay. Eat right. Move that body of yours and try to get enough sleep. When you can't, and even if you can, learn to relax. Deep breathe. Enjoy the silence. Go for a walk in the woods. Deal with your pain. See a counselor if you need to. Forgive!!! And do your best to enjoy your life because not everyone conquers mental health issues. Hang out with your friends. Play with your kids. Kiss your spouse. Practice gratitude. These things may not cure you but they will help. I get that it's hard.
As a teen, when I didn't have anyone depending on me I gave in to the depression and did the things that fed it. I isolated myself. I didn't take good care of my body. I, and everyone around me expected the answer to come in a bottle. I didn't know any better then. I didn't know in the beginning that you have to work hard to survive it. I did the best I knew how to do then. I found my refuge in God and in the end people, THAT was probably the biggest piece in my healing, but not the only one.
Now as an adult, I have a lot of people who depend on me. I don't have the option of crawling between the covers and letting the world pass me by. Some days the last things I want to do is get out of bed and face the day, but I kick myself in the pants and do what needs to be done. As a church leader there are days when I am fighting hard not to be completely overwhelmed by my own tendency towards depression or with my relationships and I get to sit across from you and do my best to offer you hope even when I may not be feeling it myself. Believe it or not, as I sit with you and try to help you practice gratitude it helps me practice gratitude in my own life. When I help you have grace for the relationships in your life it reminds me to have grace in my own. And I thank God for the people in my life that I can be honest with and say "this really sucks" to.
But please also know that when I encourage you to do the things that are hard that it comes from a place of love and experience. I have learned that you always have a choice. I tell my kids, "even if someone has a gun to your head you still have a choice" and it's true. Even if you think you don't have a choice you are still making a choice and every choice has a consequence. Recovery is hard work but you are not alone in it. I will walk with you but I know that you have to do the work, I can't. So I will listen and I will try to encourage you, but know that sometimes I will challenge you and you won't like it but it comes from a place of love and wanting to see you thrive.
And this, know that you are stronger than you think. So far you have survived every single one of "the worst days" of your life. But in the end, if you know Jesus, even if you are weak, He is strong and you don't have to do it on your own. Know that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you and you don't have to stay in the grave either. And if you don't know Jesus, you really should. It doesn't make life all rosy but at least there's hope.